Monthly archives: June, 2018

The new Jolly Roger “Pirate Porthole” is ready for beta-testing!

Are there any friendly and forgiving Jolly Roger customers willing to beta test the new website? If so, please email and let us know. We’re taking this slowly – not everything is done yet.

Oh, and we like to fix the known bugs before we set up a new group of beta-testers. So please give us a couple days to process your request if you’d like to help.

We are trying to keep the new look and feel quiet for now. If you do end up seeing the new artwork, please do not post it on social media yet!

Thanks everyone!


Jolly Roger bots crush the spirit of a potential “Business Loan” scammer

This call is another “business loan” scam. Now, it might not be fair to classify all business loan telemarketers as scams, but there are a TON of warnings from the BBB, FTC, and various trade organizations regarding these types of calls. So if you are a small business, please be cautious before making any kind of deal with telemarketers or cold callers who offer you unsecured business loans. Everyone understand? Nobody mad at me? Great.

In this call, the telemarketer sounds like a nice person. But our goal here at the Jolly Roger Telephone Company is to disrupt the unsolicited outbound telemarketing industry, and this is a fantastic example of the bots at work. This call starts with Whitey Whitebeard, then transitions to Debbie Doldrums, and then finally to Moby Dick. To any of you long-time listeners, you will recall that these bots used to simply restart. Well, I figured out how to get the bots to hand off to each other without having to record any new lines with the original voice talent (although Whitey recently came back for another recording session – updates coming soon!)

So please try not to empathize too much with this woman. She sounds like she can get a decent job with customer service. Maybe her employer will finally stop this terrible and despised business practice.

Thank you everyone for using the Jolly Roger bots and helping to disrupt the outbound telemarketing industry! I love telephones, and I want you to love your phone again!

Thanks for listening!


Jolly Roger Telephone and my “Evil Genius Plan” mentioned in Dallas Morning News!

I had the pleasure of speaking with Dave Lieber, the Watchdog Columnist at Dallas Morning News a few days ago. He wrote an extremely nice article about Jolly Roger Telephone. As usual, I want to thank you all for helping to spread the word about this unusual (but effective!) solution to telemarketing!