How to Use “Summon a Pirate”

Overview

For mobile phones (iPhone/Android), the “Summon a Pirate” Subscription provides a faster, easier way to get a robot to do the talking. You “summon a pirate” by sending a text message to one of two numbers:

214-666-4321 – if you send a blank text (e.g. one space), then you will be called by a randomly selected FEMALE robot
214-666-4327 – if you send a blank text (e.g. one space), then you will be called by a randomly selected MALE robot

A pirate immediately calls you back, and you merge them into your phone call with the telemarketer. Detailed instructions are included below.

To pick exactly which robot you want to summon, use the two letter abbreviation for the robot in your text. For example, to get a call from Whitey Whitebeard, text “ww”. See below for an entire list and additional details.

Cost

Please be aware that there is a $0.04 per minute charge to cover the cost of the outbound call (our robot calls your phone). You get 11 minutes of “summoning time” included with your annual subscription, and if you want to buy more, then use the link on the “My Numbers” page (bottom right, under “Useful Links”), or just click here.

Compatibility

*** BUT NOT ALL CARRIERS SUPPORT THIS: To use “Summoning” you must be able to merge two separate calls into one (a 3 party conference). Some carriers use a type of network (CDMA) in some parts of the country that does not support merging calls. Here’s a non-techy way to check if this will work on your phone: just have two friends call you at roughly the same time. If you can answer both and merge them together, then you can use “Summon a Pirate”.

Want more info? It gets kind of technical, but the problem is that merging only works on GSM networks, not CDMA networks. You can figure out which one you’re using by reading up on this topic at this link: wikiHow

How to Set It Up

To simplify the usage of this feature, create a new contact on your phone corresponding to one of these numbers. For example, setup a contact called “Summon MyPirate” with a number of 214-666-4321.

With an iPhone – When you receive an unsolicted call…

When a call is received just listen, or keep them talking….but don’t say “hold on” because some telemarketers will hang up
Press the “home” button to exit phone display
Touch “Messages” to bring up the message app
Send a text message (see below) to the contact you created for summoning pirates (e.g. the “Summon MyPirate” contact we created above). For example, to summon Whitey Whitebeard, just text “ww.” Don’t worry about auto-correct; we will accept anything close.
When the call arrives, press “Hold and Accept”
The display will change immediately; press “Merge”
The telemarketer is now on with you and the robot, so be silent! (MUTE YOURSELF)
Listen for as long as you like. When you hang up, the robot hangs up too

What do I text to the “Summon a Pirate” number?

If you want a particular robot, use their two character code (upper or lower case):

“ww” or “we” – Whitey Whitebeard
“ss”– Salty Sally
“jr”,” jr.”, “he” – Jolly Roger
“jj”, “just”, “ki”, “U.K.” – Jolly Jenny
“dd”, “did” – Debbie Doldrums
“wj”, “wh” – Whiskey Jack
“md” – moby dick
“rf” – random female robot
“rm” – random male robot
“rb” – for random robot

If the two character code is not found/doesn’t match, you will get an error message.

UH OH: The call from the robot rolled over to my voicemail. How do I tell it to hang up? Just text the word “hang up” to our “Summon a Pirate” number.

UH OH: If you text a blank to the “Summon a Pirate” number it will just be ignored.

How to Use with a Landline

I want to summon a pirate to my landline. Can I do this? YES!!!! Just follow the two character code with the last couple of unique digits of the phone you want them to call in on. The digits you are passing must be for one of your 3 subscribing phone numbers.

Here is an example: Let’s say I have three phone numbers listed for my “Summon a Pirate” subscription as follows:

212-555-1212 (mobile phone)

212-555-3318 (home landline)

212-555-6718 (office landline)

At any time I can use my mobile phone (212-555-1212) to summon a pirate. To summon a pirate to my mobile phone I just send anything, or the two character code. Here are three examples:

“hello” – will summon a randomly selected pirate

“jj” – will summon Jolly Jenny

“ki” – whoops…I typed “jj” but auto-correct sent “ki” instead; no problem, I still got a call from Jolly Jenny

To summon a pirate to another one of my phones that has a scammer on it, I do the same thing but specify a number:

” 318″ will summon a randomly selected robot to my home landline

“jj 718” will summon Jolly Jenny to my office landline

Please note that “jj 18” will NOT WORK because the last two digits are NOT unique: both landlines end in the same last two digits (“18”) so we need the last three digits to make a match.