Meet our Personal Robots (USA)

The Original Jolly Roger!

The voice of our founder, with the now classic inane comments (e.g. “There’s a bee on me”) that have ungainfully occupied thousands of telemarketers.

206 – 259 – 4991 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4891 if you do NOT want a recording

This scammer will get tired of trying to convince Jolly Roger to buy solar panels. So he has his supervisor give it a try; at about 5:54 this guy has a melt down.

Demo of “Jolly Roger”

(warning: includes vulgarity)
Salty Sally

Sally is a busy mom doing her best to pay attention to unsolicited calls, but her teenage daughter keeps distracting her. Let’s try not to get her mad!

206 – 259 – 4983 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4883 if you do NOT want a recording

This caller is trying to steal credit card information.
After about 3:10 he can’t decide if he’s mad or aroused.

Demo of “Salty Sally”

(warning: includes vulgarity)

Whitey Whitebeard

Whitey is a senior citizen who likes to talk but gets a bit fiesty if you waste his time. A very patient telemarketer might be rewarded if he can slow it down and get Whitey’s attention …. or not.

206 – 259 – 4993 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4893 if you do NOT want a recording

Did you know that Whitey can save up to 40% on his electric bills? Well, he doesn’t either. Listen as this friendly but persistent telemarketer tries to sell him solar panels.

Demo of “Whitey Whitebeard”

Jolly Jenny

What if Jolly Roger had a better half? Would she like talking to telemarketers, too? Of course! Jenny is never too busy to spend a couple of minutes on the phone talking to scammers on your behalf.

206 – 259 – 4982 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4882 if you do NOT want a recording

Another incredibly rude con-man trying to steal your credit card information. After 2:35 he starts to get ugly.

Whiskey Jack

It’s always fun at Jack’s house, but he’s a busy man so you’ll have to be quick to grab his attention between plays of the big game on TV.

206 – 259 – 4992 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4892 if you do NOT want a recording

Listen to this scammer try to fool Jack into installing a virus on his computer. He goes ballistic about 6:45 into the call, and then his supervisor takes over….and eventually goes ballistic too!

Demo of “Whiskey Jack”

(warning: includes vulgarity)

Debbie Doldrums

Scammers get caught up talking to Debbie because she’s so normal and enthusiastic. Before they know it they’ve wasted days stuck in the doldrums.

206 – 259 – 4981 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4881 if you do NOT want a recording

This caller wants to buy Debbie’s house. She’s interested but just can’t seem to make up her mind.

Kim the Kraken

Is it time to crush the scammers that are harassing you? If so, then release Kim the Kraken and let her, and her team of Mr. Jiggles and the streaking baby exact revenge on your behalf.

206 – 259 – 4984 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4884 if you do NOT want a recording

Listen as we unleash the Kraken upon a scammer trying to steal credit card numbers.

Bloody Billy

Looking for a robot who is not squeamish when it comes to fighting scammers? Bloody Billy rolls up his bloody sleeves, and makes you laugh while wasting tons of telemarketer’s time!

206 – 259 – 4997 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4897 if you do NOT want a recording

Billy does some cooking while a telemarketer tries to sell him office-cleaning services. It takes until about 6:30 in before he shows his true colors. The blood starts flowing around 8 minutes in.

Demo of “Bloody Billy”

(warning: includes vulgarity)

Moby Dick

He talks sports, he talks religion, he talks nonsense. Scammers think they’re hunting him, but he will sink their boats every time!

206 – 259 – 4994 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4894 if you do NOT want a recording

Moby just sits back and lets this timeshare salesman sink under the weight of his own hot air. At about 3:40 into the call the salesman confidently states that he “won’t get fooled by that !@&*”, but of course is completely fooled!

Demo of “Moby Dick”

(warning: includes vulgarity)

Crazy Mazy

She seems like a nice old lady with a couple of screws loose. But she’s crazy like a fox when it comes to luring scammers into long, funny conversations.

206 – 259 – 4985 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4885 if you do NOT want a recording

A scammer selling prescription drugs  “would love to help you get the pain relief you deserve.” But when she calls Mazy, the agent is the one who needs pain relief! Mazy is very worried about her grandson, and what a coincidence…at about 3 minutes in we learn that the agent knows Mazy’s grandson, and promises her that he will visit later that day, once again showing how dishonest telemarketers can be!

OR….

Have Us Pick the Robot!

When you send us your call, we will randomly pick a robot for you. This is how we set it up for you when we first created your account during the sign-up process.

To pick any female robot:
206 – 259 – 4980 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4880 if you do NOT want a recording

To pick any male robot:
206 – 259 – 4990 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4890 if you do NOT want a recording

To pick any robot (male or female):
206 – 259 – 4999 if you DO want a recording
206 – 259 – 4899 if you do NOT want a recording