Right at the top – please support my Kickstarter!
I wasn’t sure if I should post this call. This really demonstrates the kind of people who are calling and scamming people. I guess it was the end of the day for him and he wanted to have some fun. Maybe he thought my clueless little robot sounded like someone who deserved this kind of banter.
When you listen to this call, please think about all the people he has called this day. His call center is using an autodialer and you can hear other agents in the background. I think his supervisor is monitoring the call at one point and does nothing to control this guy.
So I kept him busy for about five minutes, which saved his autodialer from attempting hundreds of calls during this interval. Not to mention he was out of service for five minutes and couldn’t talk like this to anyone else.
And there’s no way to find out who this is. He is so blatantly abusive because he knows there are no consequences for his behavior.
This started as a hobby and a way to protect my own phone. But with all of your help, I can deploy these bots to take telemarketer calls and break their autodialers. If we can get my bots answering these calls, their autodialers will only connect to a few hundred numbers per day and many of those will be bots that are unable to provide personal information. Together we can disrupt this practice! And save the landline!
Thanks for listening.
Roger
More! More! More!
I used to work with a guy who had the last name of Semen. His first name was not Woody, however.
Siemen and Siemens are completely respectable German names. Nothing funny about it, right?
Unless you used to be a Beavis and Butthead fan. Then a giggle might pass your lips.
Hi Larry us. Thanks for doing this.
I love it! Keep up the good work. Here is one you can add once the robot is running:
Hold on a sec! Billy stop hitting your sister with your light saber! Can’t you see I’m on the phone here!
Sorry about that! You were saying? … UH-huh. … Sure. … I’m really sorry, please hold on again. Billy I told you to stop it and you didn’t! Now look, Sally is crying! I hope you are happy with yourself. You march up to you room right now, mister, and think about what you just did. I don’t want you to come out for at least 15 minutes. Honey? Can you take care of Sally for me, she won’t stop crying. I’d do it, but I’m on the phone. OK. I’m back! Kids, I tell ya? Do you have any? I told my wife that we should have gotten a dog instead, but would she listen? Nope. Anyway… Sorry can you start from the beginning again?
Oh crap! Honey! The cat just threw up on the new rug? Can you take care of it before it stains, I’m on the phone here. Honey! Can you hear me? … OK. I’m back. … What were you saying again? … Uh-huh … OK. What! … Sorry, no, not you. Hold on a sec. What do you mean it’s my cat and I need to clean up after him? Ok. Alright! I’ll do it after I hang up. … I’m really,really sorry. I’m aback again. Are you married? I’m telling ya, I should have listened to my mom when she told me not to marry her. OK. So tell me again why you’re calling? … Uh huh. … Sounds good…
Darn it! Can someone please answer the door. I think it’s the delivery guy with the package I’m waiting for. I would, but I’m on the phone here! … OK, go on. … Yep. … Sure. Honey!!! Can you please get the door for me. … Thanks! You’re the best! … Man! Did you ever have one of those days, where you can’t get anything done because of all these distractions? Hah! Listen to me! Talk about calling the kettle black! Here you are trying to sell me something and I keep interrupting you. I’m really sorry! Whewwww! Ok, you have my undivided attention now. So can you start from the beginning and tell me who you are, what company you are with again?
Wait, that sounds like my life for real!
Those are awesome – thank you!
Three more, I can’t stop:
Uh-huh. Sure. Oh man! Would you look at that weather report on the TV! We’ve expecting 3 or more inches of rain tonight. Can you believe it? I really hope my basement doesn’t flood again. Just another joy of owning a house that none ever told you about. Sorry, I got a little bit of A.D.D here. … Please continue… Uh-huh. .. Sure. .. Man! I really don’t want to have to pump out the basement again. Note to self, turn on the sub-pump when I get off the phone. I really hate this house! … I’m really sorry, I wasn’t listening. Can you start over again?
Hello! Sure … Uh-huh. Don’t mind me, if I sound a little out of breath. I just got in from running a 10K! That’s the longest I’ve ever run before! … So you were saying again. … Uh-huh … Sure. Owe! Owe! Charlie Horse! Hold on a second…OK. .. It’s gone. I knew I didn’t take enough electrolytes. Sorry. Can you start over again, the pain overwhelmed anything you were saying? Uh-huh. … Sure … Sounds good… Owe! The cramp is back! … Whew! OK. It’s gone Can you repeat again what you just said … OK.
Uh-huh… Hold on a second someone is buzzing in on the other line. Let me check who it is … Sorry. I’m back. Wrong number! I’m telling ya, it’s a real pain! Would you believe, my phone number is one digit off from the new pizza place down the street and people keep calling me at all times of the day to order a pizza for delivery… Anyway, you were saying …OK…Sure… Wait. I’m really sorry I got another call coming in right now. Hold on one second, I’ll be right back, I promise … OK. I’m back. Would you believe it! It’s one of those stupid political Robo calls asking me to donate money to their campaign. I really hate those things! … Anyway… So you were saying..
OK. I lied I can’t stop. I really, really hate telemarketers. Here are my last 2 suggestions because I really need to get back to work:
Hello… Uh-huh… Holy Crap! Would you look at that! Two cars just crashed into each other right in front of my house. I hope everyone is alright! Anyway… you were saying… OK… Uh-huh… Oh! No! The people just got out of their cars and they look like they are going to fight. Should I do something? Oh wait! Here comes a cop car. We’re good. … Sorry. Now what were you saying again… Uh-huh. … Sure … Oh wow! It looks like the cop is arresting someone because he is putting hand cuffs on one of them and he is putting him in his car. Bad boys! Bad boys! What you going to do when they come for you. This is the best thing that has happened to me all week, nothing ever happens around here and I’m bored out of my mind. Why did I think working from home would be so awesome Sorry! So you were saying… I’m listening…
Hello! Uh-huh … OK.. Who is Shakespeare! What a moron! Would you believe this guy said Dickens for London’s greatest barb on Jeopardy? . .. Oh! I’m really sorry! I wasn’t listening, can you start again. .. Uh –huh. OK. … What is the Mississippi River? Oops! Wrong! My bad! I should have said the Nile River. Sorry. Let me mute the TV as it is too distracting. There. It’s done. Sorry, One more time again please . Who are you and what do you want? I will pay attention now, I promise. Uh-Huh… OK… Sure… Oh wow! Look at that, the new IPhone comes out next week. I got to get me one… Darn! I’m sorry I wasn’t listening again. Let me turn the TV off. There Done. Can you start over again?