I love reaching new people. If you’re new to Jolly Roger Telephone, this is a great introductory call to the service. I build robots that talk to telemarketers and waste their time. Please listen – it’s very satisfying when YOUR telemarketer gets stuck with these bots. Please check out my web site for more info.

If the sun shines on your roof, you have probably received a call from a “solar referral” telemarketer. It’s a terrible problem and this company is so blatant about it. “We’re calling all homeowners in Southern and Northern California” and “We’re reaching out to all Edison customers”. This is not okay! I love telephones and this is a terrible abuse of the network. So I built a robot to counteract them. In this call, we waste a new agent’s time and two supervisors.

If you’ve heard these before, you’ll recognize the “bee on my arm” part. But this prompts the poor agent to tell a story about the time a bee stung his tongue. Poor guy. The robot should have been more empathetic. I think he expected a better reaction from such a story. But the bot established that boundary – “don’t tell me anything personal, buddy”.

So this is a thirteen minute call with the standard captioning. Two supervisors get a testy with the bot and they eventually figure it out at the end. I actually like it when they figure it out after a long time. I hope they feel completely duped. Their “customers” sure do. And if the supervisors are smart, they’ll take the telephone number out of their call list so they don’t waste another thirteen minutes next time.

I should also mention that this call is a clear violation of the Telephone Consumers Protection Act. Subscribers to my service can also report these violations and I will aggregate them. When there are enough reports to generate interest from a class action attorney, we will try to file a complaint and collect some fines for you! If you are a subscriber to my service, you will get an email at the end of every call that includes a link to file a report.

So please enjoy! I thank you sincerely for the kind words, suggestions, and especially all the telephone calls to my bots!