Monthly archives: April, 2016

Jolly Roger bot vs. Nigerian Prince

Okay, you know the “Nigerian Prince” email scam? This is where someone says “I have a ton of money and I need your help transferring it out of the country and we’ll split the money, but I just need your help with the transfer fees.” Wikipedia calls it an “advanced-fee scam” and this one has been around as long as email – every spam blocker in the world recognizes it and I’m surprised these email messages make it into anyone’s inbox by now.

Anyway, apparently someone out there is responding to these emails. I see these calls coming from Africa, which implies the calls are hitting my bots directly, or they’re being forwarded through a telephone system and the original caller-id is passed through. Either way, I don’t think the person doing this is aware that it is working.

Based upon these calls, the emails say something like this:


I was at the Moneygram office this morning and I have sent you the money as requested.

I do not want to send the Moneygram reference number over email, so call me and I will
give you the reference number over the phone.

And then they give out the number for a Jolly Roger bot.

So this call is from one of these scammers. Actually, I feel kinda bad for these guys. They’re stuck in a small town somewhere in Africa (Benin Republic in this case) with nothing but an internet cafe and a Moneygram branch. There’s pretty much nothing else to do than send emails to the world hoping to get a couple hundred bucks here and there. Actually, I think their chances would be better if they just begged for money.

So strictly speaking, these guys are not telemarketers, and I never intended to “hook” them with this telemarketer bot. However, I found it fascinating and wanted to share at least one of these calls with you. Perhaps someday there will be a convention of Nigerian Princes and they’ll all sit around and say “whenever we call people, we just get bots. I guess we’ll have to stop this scam.”

Please enjoy this call and get a sense of the potential here. He doesn’t really get mad, and he struggles with the bot the whole time. Like I say, you almost feel sorry for all these voices crying out for your money. Although, I’m probably the only person who can hear them right now. I have hundreds of these and they’re all pretty much the same. “What’s the Moneygram reference number? Hello?”

Again, my telephone system is seeing the original caller-id from Africa, so I think these are being called or forwarded directly to my bots and the person doing it may not even be aware that it’s working. If this is you, send me a note or message me – I’d love to hear your story. I’m not sure if there’s any point in publishing more of these. Let me know if you find them interesting. Do you want to stop this scam? Should I deploy bots to suck the time and prepaid telephone minutes from these guys?

Thank you for listening!



Credit Card scammer tried to make my telemarketer bot angry

I mentioned a pair of “windows support” calls that were extremely entertaining, but this call just came in and I just had to post it.

This is another “cardholder services” where “we lower your interest rate” and it is representative of exactly what I am fighting with these bots. Imagine an elderly person getting a call from this guy. Or someone new to this country struggling with the language and trying to build up their credit in the US. Or a young college student with a new card who might be a little naive about interest rates and their bank. It breaks my heart to hear the applause in the background – that means someone just got scammed.

Anyway, one of you (thank you!) transferred this call to my bot and for a while the scammer thought I was just distracted. When he thought I was just trying to waste his time, he got really abusive. I have to admit, I find his abuse somewhat rewarding since he’s exactly what I’m fighting against. And the types of insults were kind of funny too. Anyway, that goes on for a bit but he cannot get any satisfying response from my bot. Then at the end, I think he realizes it’s a bot and he lets out a sustained groan that sounded like his pompous bravado was leaving him. At least, that’s what I like to think.

Thanks everyone for your support. Please pass the word that I’m trying to raise legal resources through Indiegogo. And please contact me when you get some good calls. I tend to listen to the longest calls first so if you get some good calls in the 3-5 minute range, I may not hear them. Message me through Facebook, or email me at roger at jollyrogertelephone dot com. I am also on Twitter at @JollyRogerTelCo but I am really bad at self-promotion so I could use your help generating buzz.

In the meantime – please enjoy this call!

Vacation package scammer telemarketer snorts cocaine with my bot

This call was both entertaining and interesting. The telemarketer immediately recognized it was either a bot or someone just messing around, and he engaged in some funny antics worthy of Cheech & Chong. What was interesting though, was

  1. The team quickly recognized the bot and transferred it to someone ready for it. Is there a “be on the lookout” notice in this call center?
  2. The telemarketer could care less about the time he’s spending with this bot. I doubt he’s been told by management to keep it talking, right? He must be paid by the hour and is just as happy to talk to a bot as a real person.
  3. The telemarketer is not concerned about being monitored or recorded. Some call centers are tightly monitored. This call lasted over 10 minutes with no hope of making a sale.
  4. He kept to the “and how do you spell that?” part of the script several times. He probably has worked here for a while, or perhaps it gets in your blood immediately. It would be fun (for one day?) to work in one of these places to see how they really operate.

As usual, the goal here is to waste telemarketer time, and the bot did really well. During this entire call, the original “mark” was able to go about his or her business and leave the talking to Jolly Roger. Please keep the calls coming and the buzz buzzing! I am getting way too many calls to listen to all of them. I typically listen to the longest calls, so if you get an entertaining call that is less than three minutes or so, I will not hear it. So please email or message me if you get a good call!

Thanks all! Enjoy this call.


Funny call for a female bot named Richard

Sometimes I post informative, educational, and enlightening audio of telemarketers talking to my bots. But sometimes these calls are just funny. This is one of those.

This guy identifies himself from a “financial services” company. When I Google it, it’s a collection company with a whole lot of complaints about it (BBB, Ripoff Report, etc.)

I believe genuine collection calls state that (1) this call is to attempt to collect a debt and (2) the call is recorded. This guy didn’t say either one, so I am going to assume he’s a scammer. This call was transferred to me from a listener – probably named Richard. And the funny thing is the call was processed by a female bot – Debbie Doldrums in this case. No matter. She simply convinces him that her name is Richard.

Now, I’m not a particularly funny guy. And Debbie Doldrums isn’t a particularly funny bot. But I learned from Tom Mabe that “comedy” is when things get uncomfortable. And this call gets quite uncomfortable. For the scammer. Debbie does just fine.

Jolly Roger Telephone bots help you get back at your personal scammers and unsolicited telemarketers. If you like what I’m doing, be sure to check out my Indiegogo for a legal defense fund. Just as an example, this guy’s company has deep pockets and will not be happy to discover what I’m doing. Please help with anticipated legal fees.

Please enjoy this latest audio…

Scammers excited: “We got the bee guy again!”

These air conditioning contractors have been featured here before. They’re turning into my “case study” for this service. They are on to me, and they really should stop calling; but the agents are powerless to remove my number and the boss hasn’t gone through the trouble of associating my number with this bot and the getting it out of the auto-dialer. So this is actually quite funny that I’m like a virus in their call center.

What’s funny is the first agent proudly exclaims “we got the bee guy again!” and then a second agent comes on the line to screw with me a little bit. But his tactic is flawed, as you’ll hear in this call.

Anyway, thanks everyone for the encouragement and support. I will have an exciting announcement shortly – I know I’ve said that before but I really will. Like most of us, I’m juggling a day job as I try to shut down this horrible practice.

In the meantime, please enjoy this call. It’s a new bot – Whiskey Jack. He is my favorite so far, but he didn’t get through his full repertoire so stay tuned for more calls from him. He’s funny.

My Telemarketer Bot won a car and a bunch of money!

I have lots of great new calls to a variety of bots new and old. I’m trying to mix them up rather than post endless “Windows support” calls (although they are quite funny).

This one came in recently to the “classic” Jolly Roger bot from a listener. I don’t understand what this guy is trying to accomplish by telling me I won a bunch of stuff. Is he trying to lure me to a certain spot at a certain time? Is he just trying to get email and other personal information? Strangely, it sounds like he’s trying to teach his son the family business, including what to do when you get mad at “the mark”. But it’s not like he has a pencil and clipboard in his hand, right? So I really don’t know the point.

But it doesn’t really matter! The bot trapped him for almost four minutes while the rest of us were productive members of society. Let’s hope he connects to more bots. Or better yet, let’s hope he gives up.

Thanks for listening! And keep the calls coming in to the “Deep Six Crew” (the set of six bots currently taking calls). Thank you all for your support and kind words! And for demonstrating the bots to your friends over the phone. Those of you new to this site or YouTube channel may not realize I’m just a humble phone guy who built this bot as a hobby to protect my home phone line. But now I can see a real possibility of making a dent in unsolicited telemarketing by deploying these bots to protect your phones too. Please enjoy this call and the others on my YouTube channel at

Thanks for listening!